welcome to the mental health hotline

think some of this is just too funny (i like the last 2 the best!)

here you are. enjoy.

"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline..."
* If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1
repeatedly.

* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to
press 2 for you.

* If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5,
and 6.

* If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what
you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will
be transferred to the mother ship.

* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a
small voice will tell you which number to press.

* If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter
which number you press; no one will answer.

* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name,
address, telephone number, date of birth, social
security number, and your mother's maiden name.

* If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a
message after the beep or before the beep or after the
beep. Please wait
for the beep.

* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

* If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

* If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All
of
our operators are too busy to talk to you.

* If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan,
lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

* If you are blonde, please don't press any buttons;
you'll just mess it up.

Hahahahaha! This is so funny. I really like it

Ha ha, loved the:
"If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name,
address, telephone number, date of birth, social
security number, and your mother's maiden name."

believe it or not, that used to be much longer. there was like 40 diffrent ones. but i'm not sure what happened to the others, i think the site removed them.

Oh yeah? It must have been fun reading the full part of it . I like this one better:
"If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too busy to talk to you."

yes, the original version was a lot of fun.

shame that they went and changed it.

aded some, removed some etc.

but at least the joke is still there.

Yeah, it's still funny and that's what matters. Thanks for sharing cymbalta!